BFP: Craptacular

July 29th, 2004

Well, here I was all excited about going to the Faeryworld Festival in Oregon this weekend ... now, it looks like we are not going to be going down there after all. WintersDark (my fiancé) got his weekend cut short, and we will just not have enough time. Plus there is apparently something wrong with the car (it has a tendency to overheat) and WD doesn't think that it will make it through the border crossing.

Now I find myself in a scramble trying to figure out what to do for Lammas. I don't want to let the holiday pass without some sort of observance. Perhaps the corn muffins and beer (that I was planning to have with the group of us making the trip) could be taken to the beach or something like that ... maybe a Lammas picnic. Might also look up some info on how to make a corn dolly ... that could be fun.

There are some good points to not going (I will finally be able to have a full weekend with WintersDark ... something we haven't had in a VERY long time), but I was definitely looking forward to spending some time with my only friend who actually lives over here (most of my other friends live on the island still). And I still kind of feel like I am letting a whole bunch of people down by having to back out at the last minute. Not too much to be done about it though.

I might also use this weekend to seek out one of the local Pagan stores in Vancouver ... maybe take in the Symphony of Fire (fireworks show) on Saturday too. On the bright side, there is still plenty of cool stuff to do in Vancouver.

--Phae


----I honestly don't remember this. Or who I was going with. I could guess, but I only vaguely remember planning to go to the festival at all. What I do remember though, is that this situation (planning something and then having those plans fall through) has become somewhat constant in my life over the last while. I am hoping that things will change once WD finally gets a different job.----

BFP: Embracing the Butterfly or Seeking the Ant?

July 27th, 2004

So, this is the actual reason for my starting my own blog. I was rolling this over in my mind last night, but I have yet to come to a conclusion.

The Problem: The real problem is focus. When I was a teenager, I could focus on anything with a tunnel vision that let me finish any project I set my mind to. Over the years, this ability has deteriorated. Now, I am one of those people who is good at just about anything I try ... I write, I make jewelry, I sew, I paint, I create web graphics and design webpages, etc etc ... and if you can think of an artsy craftsy project, I probably have one that is half finished in my apartment. A half written novel, a planned, but unstarted painting, several half read books, even my webpage is less than half finished. When I was seventeen, I wrote a novel length story in one summer (it wasn't any good, but I managed to work on it until it was done).

The Solution: ? Sometimes I think that if I were to go back to school, I would have more time to focus on my projects ... maybe get some of them finished. Other times I think that I should just embrace my butterfly-esque nature, and hope that I will flit back to things and 'someday' they will all be finished. Still other times, I think that it was the structure of school that helped me to complete things ... couldn't do math in art class, so I had time to focus just on my art projects. If I could plan out my day with a little bit of time set aside for everything, then perhaps I would slowly manage to get everything done.

My biggest problem with these solutions is that I start to feel like I am always wasting time when I am not working on something, and thus, I never have any time for myself. In trying to force myself to finish my current novel, I spent nearly a year not reading anything because every time I picked up a book, I felt that I ought to be writing. This, of course, makes the project so undesirable that I end up not doing it anyway, and then nothing gets done, and I feel like I have just wasted more and more time, and not having any fun with the things that I love to do.

The last year or so I have been just putting artsy sorts of projects out of my mind and focusing fully on myself and my spirituality (not so much practise lately, but reading and learning about all the things I denied myself for so long) this however causes my creative juices to back up and the whole cycle starts over again ... the half finished projects ... guilt that leads to apathy ... the whole 'to hell with projects' attitude ... and on and on and on.

Sometimes I feel like I am caught in a loop that I will never escape, and however more I strive to be a focused worker ant, I think that I may have to accept that I will always be a butterfly. Maybe I just need to add some Ginko to my diet ... drink some green tea or something.

--Phae

----I still struggle with this from time to time. I think I have learned that it is best to embrace my nature. Nothing gets finished if I don't want to work on it. Though, it is also important to curb my flightiness so that I can actually accomplish things. I think it is a matter of balancing my elemental nature. More fire needed.----

BFP: The Mind of the Phae

July 27, 2004

Well, I have been contemplating some pretty weird and complex stuff lately, and rather than burden my friends on the forums with my weird rantings, I have decided to start up my own blog ... call it my own little corner of insanity - LOL. I am not all that great at keeping up a journal, but I have heard some pretty good things about Live Journal, so I thought I would give it a shot.

Anyway, keep your eyes peeled for more than you ever wanted to know about Phae ;o)

--Phae

----I think I have become a bit of an exhibitionist in the last four years. When I wrote this post, it was hard for me to imagine myself posting personal stuff on the web for everyone to see.----

Blast From the Past

The first of many. I am not really sure what is going to happen with LJ. Folks seem fairly riled up over this interview and the coming Content Strike.

I stay there mostly because I have spent the last four years posting there, and most of my friends are there.

If I ever do decide to move, I'm not sure where I will end up. But, I figure that it can't hurt to spread my history around a bit. So, for the next while, I am going to be putting all of my non-meme posts of the past here, starting from back in July of 2004.

The date will be entered at the top, and if there are updates on the issues involved, I will probably add them to the bottom in small or italicized text.

Anyway, enjoy

--Phae

Well, Dammit!

It would seem that I have missed the boat on a set of what looked like really great, customizable scrapbook-style BOS pages. They were offered all over ebay and I meant to pick up the set (they are digital templates that she emails to you), and now the woman who made them appears to have completely vanished off the face of the earth. Even her website is gone.

This sucks. I am gonna have to find something else now Or, I suppose I could get my ass in gear and create my own templates.

What I really want is a few art pages (as dividers) that look a bit like the ones from the Practical Magic Book of Shadows. I love the parchment, ink art, dried bits of stuff look. And after I get going on my courses, I am going to start saving for my BoS of much beauty and many hundreds of dollars.

Would any of you wonderful friend types have any leads on cool BoS art pages? I would love you much for ever and ever and EVAR!

--Phae

Naked Friday Nights

And no, that title isn't just to get your attention. I was walking home from work last night when I decided that I was a bit munchy. I didn't want a meal of any sort (it is close to midnight by the time I get off work, so my choices for food are McDeath, Tim Hortons (blessed 24 hr Tim Hortons) and 7/11.

I decided on a small bag of cheese popcorn. So, to 7/11 we go. I get my popcorn, all is good, and as I walk out of the store, a girl wearing a hoody and panties brushes past me after a girl who looks like she is quickly dressing as she walks off down the street. I raise an eyebrow and think nothing of it until another girl (this one on my right), jumps out of a van and starts yelling after her friends. This girl is wearing toe nail polish, and covering her breasts (because apparently that makes you less naked).

I look at her, shake my head and walk off. As we reach the edge of the parking lot, WD leans over to me and says, "You know all of the kids in that van were naked, eh?" I laugh, and after a few more steps (literally, we had just stepped out of the parking lot), and we see a cop car racing up the hill.

We both turn right around in time to see two guys, wearing shoes strut out of 7/11. WD says loud enough for everyone to hear, "And here come the cops!" The look on their faces when the cop car pulled in to the parking lot and parked behind the van so it couldn't pull out was priceless! LOL The guys, somewhat less cocky (pun intended), try to scurry back into the van. They are not quite quick enough, and the cop dumps them both into the back of the squad car. He doesn't let them get their clothes!

Now, there are still two quickly dressing guys and at least three more naked girls in this van. And because of the wonderful laws of equality that our societies have going on, we wait while a female cop comes to deal with the girls who are so modest that they had to strut around naked in public in the middle of the night (I know why the laws are like that, but some days I think it is really stupid).

Female cop pulls up with the hoody and panties girl already in her car. Cops chat, crowd gathers and then dissipates. First girl comes back to the 7/11 parking lot, sees the cops and walks on by like she doesn't know anyone there. LOL

We finally leave when the first cop looks like he is getting ready to take naked guys 1 & 2 away. We laugh and chat as we walk on home. WD wonders why they were all wearing face paint, and why we never had parties like that when we were teenagers.

Then, we get to the park, and what do you suppose is there? Yup, another van filled with naked teenagers. These ones are dancing around, laughing and taking group pictures.

I, seriously, did not make enough of my teenage years. Can you imagine telling all your friends at school about how you and a bunch of friends all got naked, painted your faces, went to 7/11 and then got arrested? What an awesome story! LOL

--Phae

Images

Ok, so it says that unless I want to upload all of my images to the web and link them, then I have to post one here first before I can put it in my profile. So far, it looks like I only get one - this makes me a little sad, but I will live, I think.

Since I am in love with my new little pink icons, that one gets to be first - though, now that I play with it, it looks like I can upload a new one to be a part of each post like we did at Lj. Now THAT is cool!

--Phae

First Post - New Blog

The recent drama at Livejournal has prompted me to start a second blog. This might be where I end up if I do choose to leave LJ in the future.

For now, this can be a mirror journal. With all of the options out there, it may be one of a few - I hope to curb that instinct of *MUST HAVE ALL PRETTIES*. I can't promise anything, though

So far, I like this place. I have yet to investigate it's Friend Paging abilities, but if it sucks that way, I can always add this to an LJ syndicated feed before my paid account expires, and use my Flist there. Or at one of the zillions of LJ clones out there. All in all, I am not really worried about losing touch with my friends.

This is the internet. They are never that far away

Not a bad first post, eh? LOL

--Phae